you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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