It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize