I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
