do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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