i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
