TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
