I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
