i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
