i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
