Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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