I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
