Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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