We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
