just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
