This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
