remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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