That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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