omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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