I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
