He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
