thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
