I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
