I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
