ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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