problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
