i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
