Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
