You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
