He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
