A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
