I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
