Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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