Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
