he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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