Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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