You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
