I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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