my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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