he was CRYING into my vagina
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
