you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just gargled with NyQuil
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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