You really coming over, don't trick.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
