ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
