i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
