i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize