I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
