You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
