If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
