Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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