i already hear my dad disowning me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
