i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
