these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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