that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
