you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
