the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
